, I've experienced so many crazy and amazing things. You'd be amazed how things are viewed while sitting down. I understand up rights wanna help the rollers. Some deep down just honestly wanna be nice. While others feel this drive to help the poor crippled through the door.
Some as I have personally experienced are willing to go running through a crowded room as if their the only one that heard the fire alarm go off. Somewhere during this newly found humanitarian role their brains switch from the fire alarm panic to linebacker mode, where any and all poor souls standing between Captain 2 Legs and my door are expendable.
Not wanting to see me struggle with my door and burst into tears cause now I'm trapped. Capt. does what every great football player's been taught. Head down, shoulder tight, hit em in the numbers and drive em home. With the clock counting down and inches to go Capt. goes for the power play.
He comes leaping over my foot rests, cape flowing in the wind, and for a split second it's poetry in motion. Every great superhero strikes this pose: Arm forward, chest swelled with pride and that half cocked smile as if to say... "Don't worry down there, I'll save you from this menacing door of doom."
Only, they lose every ounce of cool factor as soon as that second is over and they throw themselves against the door like they're in a drunken stumble. Winded, drenched with super sweat and barley able to stand and, yes, now blocking my door.
Capt. delivers his tag line like every great superhero (yet most aren't panting for dear life from exhaustion). "There you go, only now shall you have safe passage."
Unfortunately I'm not a fan of superhero's. So I look at them wondering; man, what's his malfunction. I then turn and open the other door, politely say excuse me as I try to get around Capt.'s limp door-blocking legs and continue on to my next venture. As I go I carry with me the knowledge that as long as there are doors of doom with evil plans of stopping us rollers from enjoying our lives, there when you least expect it in a crowded room or dodging cars from across the street, Captain 2 Legs will be there.
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